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04 March 2005 @ 03:04 pm
Twisted road up ahead...  
Well doesn't everything just take a huge turn for the worse. I don't get my life. As soon as I'm happy or as soon as things are going somewhat back to normal... Things go right down the shitter. Here I am again, stuck. Stuck between a rock and a hard place... More like stuck back in this hell we call life.

Jordan and I are on a new break... Oh yay. And ya know what, fuckin fine! Except I am not going to sit around here like I did the last month and cry and obsess over the fact that well, we're just not going to work out. To be honest... I will do that... Oh definitely. I've already been crying today.. I'm still crying now. I could prolly sit and wallow in all my tears.


I'm sure they all don't. There is a real man out there for me. Someone who will love me unconditionally. It just sucks. I don't want that other man. But I guess I don't want this one either, well not in this situation. I'd like a better version of the man I have... The way he used to be. But ya know what... I can't always get what I want... No matter how much I love and care for it... I'm doomed... Doomed an eternity of heartach and self-loathing.


I got my hair done today. That's prolly the only positive thing that is going to happen today. Of course Jordan's mom did it.. She's the best. She told me not to wait around for him... Basically that he shouldn't be doing this bullshit to me. He's putting me through this hell that he must get off too... Cause I don't get why he's doing it and his mom doesn't either. He thinks this new break is going to help something?? Yeah... "Call me on Wednesday." OKAY. So I get to live my life for 5 days without him... No seeing him, no talking to him... NOTHING... and please tell me... What fucking good is 5 hellish days going to do for us? He's going to gain some new kind of respect for me in that time? HAH. Bullshit. I hate bullshitters. He's fuckin with my head and he loves it.
Current Mood: bitchyFUCK MEN
Current Music: Enjoy the silence.......... Ding
Sleeping Suicidesleepingsuicide on March 4th, 2005 10:36 pm (UTC)
long time no talk. i hope all gets better.

aim - embersxrise holla.
<~*`PrYnCeSs DaViS`*~>kinkykandy on March 7th, 2005 07:04 pm (UTC)
Hey! Thanx, me too!!
xhedonisticx on March 5th, 2005 12:24 am (UTC)
"call me on wednesday"? That's fucking cold. I'm sorry but...DON'T call him. You can do so much better. You don't need a guy that conveniently wants to take five days off from you. He's either IN or OUT...with you or not. There is no 'in between' in relationships. The only people who want 'in between' or think there is one..are assholes or guys that want their cake and eat it too. I would never talk to him again if I were you.
<~*`PrYnCeSs DaViS`*~>kinkykandy on March 7th, 2005 07:06 pm (UTC)
So easily said huh?
Well he ended up coming home the next day... drama that's all I have to say. But I do have to say that I wasn't planning on calling him on Wednesday... I don't know if I would have went through with it but yeah... The whole conviently being used thing, I don't go for that